ESPRESSO BAZOOKA
Concentration: Eau de Parfum
Projection: Moderate to Strong
Longevity: 8+ Hours
Origin: Made in the USA
Volume: 30ml
Dispenser Type: Spray
Dimensions: 40x40x95mm (cartridge), 140x140x60mm (box)
Olfactory Character:
$89.00
In stock - Ready to be shipped
Estimated delivery between August 28 and August 30. Order within .
Wartime Yunnan. A physics student defied the professors and brewed “espresso” from whatever the land offered. The machine exploded. So did the rules.
In this Eau de Parfum experience, you've just blown up an espresso machine. It wasn't supposed to smell this good. Scorched sandalwood and cracked black pepper erupt in a hot, resinous cloud, vanilla curling sweet and dangerous at the edges, settling like scorched dust after an impossible espresso rewrote the rules.
Furious. Gritty. Absolutely wild.
Tap play above to overdrive the pump. Hear the Barista's confession as he fires back at the school principal's accusations, through an original soundtrack raging with this Eau de Parfum experience, music and lyrics by Adam Ryax and Mario Cao, also available on Spotify, Apple Music, and Tidal:
"Call Me the Barista"
And keep scrolling. In the next section, you will find out what really happened in the Barista's experiment in the full Origin Story: Espresso Bazooka.
-
“If steam can pass through ground coffee,” he went on, “then it should be able to pass through any plant matter at all.”
At this, three more physics students immediately started heckling him, urging the great scientist to cut the lecture and get on with it. They wanted to see what happened next.
“Trust me,” Barista said, brandishing the tamper, “get the ratio of carbohydrate to cellulose right, and I can replicate the extraction with crops alone.”
— An excerpt from Espresso Bazooka, Adam Ryax
FAQ
Short answer: no. All scent concepts, stories, characters and their confessions are fictional art created for the Aggronium universe. Some may take inspiration from real historical events, but please don't stake your worldview on them! For the real deal, please go bother that history teacher you haven't spoken to in years.
Bless your optimism, but no! The masks you see in the product photos and around the site are illustrations, part of the storytelling, not physical items in the box. That said, if enough of you turn out to be delightfully unhinged about wanting them, we'd happily make and sell them separately. Consider this our open invitation to prove it.
We stand behind what we make. If you received the wrong item, your order was damaged in transit, or something isn't right due to a manufacturing defect, just reach out — we'll make it right with a replacement or refund.
Because opened perfume can't go back on the shelf for someone else, we're not able to do returns or exchanges for a change of heart. That's exactly why we built the Discovery Set — find your match before you commit. And here's the generous part: every dollar you spend on it comes right off your full-size cartridge later — basically, a free test drive on us.
Pay with
Your transaction is protected with advanced security measures to keep your information confidential
Discover the Origin Story Behind Every Perfume.
-
"Schoolmaster, what wrong did I do?"
ESPRESSO BAZOOKA
Wartime Yunnan. A physics student defied the professors and brewed “espresso” from whatever the land offered.
The machine exploded. So did the rules.
-
"Sweet Madonia, sorrow Madonia."
VOTO NERO
Palermo, 1282. Shepherds drank Voto Nero—the Black Oath—and rang the bells for the Sicilian Vespers.
The elixir was strictly outlawed soon after. Too late.
-
"Carry me away from Malecón."
DRENCHED EMBER
Years later, the exile returns to Havana with a cigar once drowned in the ninety-mile crossing in 1994. He lights it for a love stolen by the sea.
Salt-crusted, it catches fire once more.
-
"Rocco, maybe try it my way."
PAW-SITIVE CRIME
The dungeon gate stood unguarded. Paws caked in mud and wildflowers, Little Jodie unlatched the dragon’s chains—
Unintentionally, or maybe not. No one ever knew why.
-
"Change is the only thing that ever stays."
ARMY OF ASHES
In his console, the boy coded a glitch called Rocco—a dragon breathing 8-bit fire. It crushed every pixel god.
The console died. The boy grew up. He became the glitch.
Explore different olfactory characters for your next adventure.
Every scent holds a soul.
All Five. One Set.
Get the Discovery Set to try everything.
